


He likes me, He likes me not

by Killmiinow



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Vampire, Comedy, Human Hunk (Voltron), Human Pidge | Katie Holt, M/M, Miscommunication, No Angst, Vampire Keith (Voltron), not dark at all, vampire Hunter lance, vampire hunter allura
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-30
Updated: 2020-06-01
Packaged: 2020-07-27 09:20:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20043619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Killmiinow/pseuds/Killmiinow
Summary: Lance is descended from a long line of vampire hunters- not that vampire hunting is really a thing nowadays. Vampire hunters only hunt criminal vampires- your average vampire probably just wants to live life in peace. Lance has a crush on Keith- who he suspects of being a vampire.Keith is a vampire- your average vampire who drink blood from his rations. Keith has a crush on Lance- who he constantly has to avoid because of the silver jewellery he wears, and Keith does not want to break into a rash, goddamnit.Now what happens when Lance's friends plot to get them together?(Spoiler alert; shenanigans ensue)





	1. An introduction

**Author's Note:**

> Just gonna put it out there, there will be no angst here- this is purely for laughs. Also, this is set in an American high school, but I'm British, so the language will be very British, and I'm going to be very vague with the whole school thing, because I have no idea how the American schooling system works.

Leandro ‘Lance’ Alvarez-McClain liked to think that he was mostly a normal seventeen-year-old. He got pretty good grades; he liked hanging out with his friends at the local café after school, and, like most teenagers desperate to get into a good university, had a mild caffeine addiction after depending on it to survive _many_ all-nighters.

There were a few small(ish) differences that set Lance apart from the rest of his age group:

1) He could recite the Greek alphabet backwards.

2) He genuinely liked brussels sprouts.

3) He was descended from a long line of vampire hunters.

Now, you might be wondering how and why the hell vampires and, in turn, vampire hunters, ended up in the New World. Well, you see, after the major European powers of the day had finished ‘settling’ (*cough* murdering the natives and later marginalising the survivors for centuries to come *cough*) newfound lands, said Europeans started settling there, in hope for a better life. Vampires headed for the New World in hope of living in peace, and not having to live in the constant fear of having a wooden stake* driven through them. It was then, in 1582, that Felipe Victor Alvarez**, vampire hunter, was sent to the Spanish colony of Cuba to head the hunt for vampires***. In 1588, he met Maria Luisa Lopez, and thus began a dynasty of vampire hunters.

Now, vampire hunting had changed drastically since the 16th century. After a series of agreements between vampires and vampire hunters, vampire hunters had, well, taken a chill pill. Pretty much everyone agreed that there was no need to hunt vampires indiscriminately; there was no need to drive a wooden stake through your average, law abiding vampire who drank blood only from their blood rations ( AKA unsuitable blood donations****) or from a fully consenting blood bank. And so, both sides reached a comfortable peace; vampires no longer lived in fear of being killed, and vampire hunters could stop running around like maniacs driving wooden stakes through people*****. Really, they became more of a specialised police force for vampires.

This didn’t really affect Lance very much. You see, he wasn’t really expected to follow tradition and become a full-time vampire hunter; in fact, Lance quite liked the idea of working for NASA. He had a large family to carry on hunting, and his older brother Luis was already a vampire hunter. Lance could do the whole hunting thing part time anyway, if he so chose.

Lance’s lineage hadn’t really affected his life much, only in very minor ways. His mother always insisted that her children wear silver bracelets and chokers, ‘just in case’; he went to ‘vampire hunting classes’ after school every Tuesday after school. While Lance had resented this when he was younger (”Jewellery is for girls,” he had whined. ”And the classes are so boring!”), he really didn’t mind it now. In fact, he like the aesthetic that wearing jewellery brought; and ‘vampire hunting classes’ had turned into a weekly meetup of friends.

The only problem that his background had brought was wondering whether people who avoided him were vampires (avoiding the silver), or just assholes.

And that was why he was currently standing in the middle of a corridor, staring at his <strike>crush</strike> rival, Keith.

Keith was unfairly good at everything (superhuman strength- a vampire trait), allergic to garlic****** (vampire trait) and avoided being within a 10m radius of Lance. Which could mean that either Keith was your average human being who just hated Lance, or that he was a bloodsucking fiend whose kryptonite was silver.

Lance really hoped it was the latter- because he liked Keith. Keith, who helped out with the football team, who twirled his pen around when he was concentrating, who’s smile lit up the room- _nope, not going there_.

”Oi, lover-boy, stop staring at your crush and get your ass moving!”

”Wha- He is not my crush!”

Pidge smirked. ”Sure, he’s not. You’re just conveniently staring at him and watching his every move when we have physics to go to.”

Lance made a strangled noise before turning to the boy opposite Pidge. ”Hunk, back me up here!”

Hunk sighed and shrugged his shoulders. ”Sorry bud, but your pining can be seen from space. Why don’t you just go up to him and talk to him instead of staring at him from your locker?”

Lance huffed in reply. ”He hates my guts.”

Katie ‘Pidge’ Holt and Hunk Garrett were a pair of geniuses. Like seriously, those two could get into Oxford or Harvard or something on a full-ride scholarship. They were also the firmest believers in the power of science- and it was for that reason the Lance hadn’t told them about his rather unique family background. Two aspiring engineers weren’t likely to believe in the existence of vampires. And it was for that reason that both of them thought that Lance was staring at Keith only because he had a crush on him- not that Keith was possibly a blood-sucking supernatural creature.

Lance did feel bad about keeping his biggest secret from his two best friends, who he had known since the age of five, but he really didn’t want them to think that he was mad. Really, Lance considered, it didn’t affect their lives. It wasn’t like he was putting them in danger by not telling them about the existence of vampires.

_ They’ll be fine_, he thought, as the three of them headed to physics, Lance looking back to glance at Keith one more time before he left.

_ * Wooden stakes were seen as the best way to fatally harm and kill a vampire. Since no one had really tried execution À la wooden stake on normal humans before, it was thought that this means of killing was only fatal to vampires, and not everyone. This resulted in a lot of accidents due to some overzealous new recruits driving a wooden stake through everyone who expressed a dislike for garlic._

_ ** The ‘McClain’ in Lance’s name comes from a Scottish family of vampire hunters who had to flee Scotland for Cuba (and then married into the Alvarez family) in 1658 after mistakenly staking a prominent member of nobility._

_ *** Unlike the founder of the Alvarez dynasty, the Alvarez-McClain family did not come to the US to hunt vampires- they came during Castro’s rule fleeing political persecution._

_ **** A vampire’s stomach can kill off any diseases found in the blood, making them suitable outlets for expired and infected donated blood._

_ ***** refer to the first note. Vampire hunters were seen as a little crazy, especially in later years when belief in vampires waned. This view was not helped by the number of accidental stakings._

_ ****** Lance found this out when he passed round garlic knots and gave one to Keith. Keith did not know that it was a garlic knot. Keith ate the garlic knot. Keith’s throat started swelling up._

* * *

Keith Kogane was most decidedly not a normal teenager. For starters, he firmly believed in the existence of mothman. And, y’know, there was the whole drinking blood business.

Keith was a vampire. He did not know whether or not he came from a long line of vampires, because he was an orphan. His mother was probably a vampire*, but she had upped and left when he was a baby. His father was not- Keith remembered that much of him. Keith’s father had died in a fire when Keith was eight, and Keith was then taken in and adopted by another vampire family, the Shiroganes. He was eternally grateful to them; without them, he’d have probably been placed into foster care by someone who didn’t understand his unique needs.

Vampirism had affected Keith’s life in many ways. While it meant that he was pretty strong, and therefore pretty good at sports, right now it meant that he couldn’t even get with 10m of his crush.

Lance Alvarez-McClain. The boy he ate a garlic knot for**. The boy whose laughter filled the whole room. He had eyes as blue as the sea- _Keith, stop it_. Keith sighed. He was way too far gone.

It just so turned out that the boy he liked seemed to wear silver every single goddamn day (like seriously, it was real silver as well- not the fake stuff). For those who don’t know, silver seems to be an irritant to vampires***, and while Keith would really like to actually talk to Lance and not avoid him 24/7, Keith also really didn’t want to break out in a rash because he accidently touched one of Lance’s bracelets****.

Keith turned around to look to where Lance stood, flanked by his two friends. Now, Keith, as a bit of a bad boy loner (he only helped out with the football team because his brother forced him to), didn’t have many friends, so was a little envious of how easily the three got along. He gazed wistfully at the trio, wishing that he could actually talk to Lance instead of having to resort to stealing glances from across the room.

_ *Vampirism seems to be a recessive gene. While Keith’s father wasn’t a vampire, he carried the vampirism gene, which meant that Keith was a vampire. Many human-vampire children turn out to be completely normal humans, since most humans do not carry said gene. This meant that Keith’s mother was either a vampire or a human with the vampirism gene. It’s more likely that she was a vampire._

_ **Keith did, in fact, know that he was being handed a garlic knot, but didn’t want to disappoint Lance, so ate it anyway. Keith didn’t regret this even after he suffered through anaphylaxis. Keith is, most definitely, a disaster gay. _

_*** The reason for this is unknown. This trait is shared and often associated with werewolves, who are said to only be killed by a silver bullet. This is not true- werewolves can also be killed by being stabbed, shot by a normal bullet, and the numerous other ways that humans can be killed by. It’s just easier to kill them via silver bullet. Anyone would die after getting shot by a maniac with a silver bullet. _

_*_ _***Lance had worn those bracelets for as long as Keith could remember. When asked why he wore them, Lance would just say ‘to ward off vampires ’. Keith had no idea whether or not he was joking._


	2. An Interogation

Hunk and Pidge were as different from Lance and Keith as night and day; both came from very normal backgrounds, with next to nothing to do with the supernatural. However, they were both very special, albeit in different ways; to put it simply, both were absolute genii with an insatiable appetite for meddling.

Lance would, very unfortunately, fall victim to this particular trait of theirs.

You see, they had seen Lance pining for Keith for ages. Like, years. Ever since Keith had eaten that garlic knot for him (Hunk suspected that Keith did in fact know that there was garlic in those garlic knots. It was pretty impossible to have a sense of smell, and not be able to smell the garlic in those knots), Hunk and Pidge were absolutely sure that Keith liked him back, and after further close observation, were sure that Keith had been pining for Lance for a long time.

A very freaking long time.

Which leads to this very moment, when both genii are in engineering soc, poring over resources as a cover for their devious little plot; how to get Lance to finally admit his feelings and ask Keith out.

“We could just lock them in a cupboard and leave it to them to figure it out.” Pidge didn’t look up from the article she was skimming over.

“Pidge, no.”

“I mean, I think it’d be great idea, and would take minimal effort from us!”

“Pidge, think about it. Both boys are the most emotionally constipated people I’ve ever met- Keith’s more likely to pick the lock than admit his feelings for Lance.”

Hunk looked up from his book as if struck by a eureka moment.

Which, in fact, he was.

He had found the solution to all their problems. Their milk to their tea; their Orpheus to their Eurydice.

“Why don’t we just, maybe, talk to Lance about this whole thing? In a confined space obviously- we can’t let him get away this time.”

Pidge chewed the end of her pen thoughtfully. “Y’know, that’s not a bad idea. Tomorrow lunch?”

“Tomorrow lunch.”

* * *

At approximately 13:38, a kidnapping took place.

Leandro ‘Lance’ Alvarez-McClain was gagged, bounded, and taken to a supplies closet, where he was locked and interrogated.

In reality, Pidge jumped on Lance’s back, by chance gagging him with her hand, while Hunk led them through a crowd to the supply closet.

No one said anything. Why? Because this was a fairly common occurrence at the school. They only got a few stares at most directed their way (most of which were from Keith, staring longingly at the love of his life).

“Guys, what the fuck?” Lance screeched when he was unceremoniously dumped in the closet.

“Right, Lance. We’re sick and tired of your pining. You quite obviously have feelings for Keith, and you’d be fucking blind if you didn’t notice his feelings for you too, so why the ever-loving crap have you not asked him out yet?”

Lance froze.

“I don’t have feelings for Keith. Nope, none found here, no feelings of love-“

“AHA! Love. I never said anything about love.”

“Nor did I!”

“Just admit it Lance- you’re gay for Keith.”

Lance visibly deflated. “Okay, fine. You got me. I like Keith.”

Pidge let out a shout of triumph, while Hunk motioned for Lace to carry on.

“I just- I can’t date him, okay? Not when…”

“Not when what?”

“Not when… he’s allergic to garlic. Yep, that’s it. I can’t date someone who’s allergic to garlic.”

Hunk looked at Lance incredulously. “And that’s a problem because…?”

“I can’t feed him garlic knots then! What other declaration of love is there?”

“Flowers? Chocolate?”

Lance looked down, all defensiveness leaving him. “I think he’s allergic to silver too, and…” Lance motioned towards his numerous bracelets.

Hunk and Pidge slowly turned to look at each other, before breaking out into laughter.

“What, Lance, he’s a vampire? Seriously? Allergic to garlic and silver?”

Lance scowled. “You know what, you can ask him yourself!” And with that, he stormed out.

* * *

Keith was peacefully making his way to football training. He was doing the usual; scowling at everybody, thinking about Lance… you know. The usual.  
He felt a tap on his shoulder. Ready to give whoever disturbed his peace his ultra-scary-pee-your-pants-scowl he turned around to see… Lance’s friends?  
The big one (Hank? Hunk?) started speaking to him.

“So, where are you off to now, Keith?”

“…football training.”

“Ah, cool! We have chemistry together, don’t we?”

Keith vaguely recollected seeing these two around Lance in his chemistry class. Ah. Lance.

“Yeah.”

“I’ve been hearing some strange things about you, Keith…”

Uh oh. Keith on red alert.

“Is it true you’re allergic to both silver and garlic?”

Keith let out a sigh of relief.

“Oh, yeah, that- that’s true.”

“What, like a vampire then?”

“What- yeah no, definitely not, nope, not me, no vampire here! Oh, would you look at that, I’m basically at football! Bye!”  
And with that panicked rant having been spoken, he walked quickly away, leaving a flummoxed Pidge and Hunk behind.


	3. An Intervention

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allura. That's it. Allura being amazing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My update schedule seems to be a chapter every four/ five months. Whoops. I'm also not really into Voltron anymore, but I'm updating this because I like the concept.
> 
> I honestly have no time for writing- I'm in my first year of A-levels, and I just happened to pick the most intensive subjects out there. I still have online school. I hate my life.
> 
> I hope everyone's safe if they're protesting- please donate to the black lives matter cause! There are loads of places you can donate to!

Allura liked to think that she could read emotions well.

Okay, scratch that, she knew she could read emotions well.

Especially when she was reading the emotions of someone she had known since she was six.

Allura came from a long line of vampire hunters, much like Lance. A _very_ long line.

Like, _maybe_, her father was head of the vampire hunting community?

Yeah, a very long line.

This meant that she had grown up surrounded by like people from a young age and had been attending ‘vampire- hunting school’ for basically all her life. It was here he had met the Alvarez- McClain family; in particular, she had really connected with a certain Leandro ‘Lance’ Alvarez-McClain.

Okay, maybe connected was a strong word.

Lance had really annoyed her when they first met. This was due to the fact that five-year-old Lance had decided that six-year-old Allura was the pinnacle of beauty and started following her around everywhere.

_ Everywhere. _

AKA Lance had a puppy crush on Allura. Y’know, not embarrassing at all. It became a subject of, let’s say, nostalgia, between them.

_(“Remember when you had a crush on me?” “Shut up!”)_

Over time, however, Lance got over Allura (not that any romance would have worked out between them- she was a lesbian, goddamnit), and they found out that they shared a few common interests (_cough* Ancient Greek* cough_). In addition to this, Allura found out that Lance was actually quite a nice person, and that _maybe _shouting at him to leave her alone wasn’t the best way to reject him.

(It also set the entire Alvarez- McClain sibling and cousin collection on her- _not _fun)

Over time, Allura and Lance had become really good friends- while a year apart in school, they still talked in the corridors, and hung out plenty outside of school, going out to places their friends didn’t like.

(Jamba juice is freaking good, okay?)

Having known each other for more than a decade meant that both Allura and Lance knew each other inside out.

And Allura could tell that Lance was hiding something from her.

This was going to be _fun_.

“Lance!” She ran over to him, hugging him (AKA nearly tackling him to the floor).

“Oof- oh, hey Allura!”

No hug back. He was distracted.

“So, how’s your day been?”

“Oh, y’know, alright. Pidge and Hunk were annoying the other day…”

Lance scratched the back of his head.

Allura narrowed her eyes.

“So, who’s your crush?”

Lance sputtered, doing a double take, and nearly dropped his Jamba juice (shit’s good, _okay?_).

“What! What crush? I don’t have a crush! No crush, no crush here…” he tailed off, giggling nervously.

“Bitch please, anyone can tell that you’re nursing a crush! You almost dropped your Jamba juice! That’s _expensive_!”

Lance drooped.

That meant he felt that his crush was unrequited.

To put it bluntly, Lance had a self-esteem issue. He felt unworthy of love; that his crushes would never like him back and that he’d forever be alone.

Allura knew that anyone into guys would jump at the chance to, well, jump him.

“So, who is it?”

Lance scratched the back of his head again.

“It’s this guy in my chemistry class. I don’t think he likes me though- he keeps on avoiding me! Though honestly I have no idea whether it’s because he hates my guts or…” He held out his silver covered wrists.

Ah.

“I mean, he’s really nice though! He helps out in football, and he ate a garlic knot I gave him once. Except, turns out he’s allergic to garlic. He got anaphylaxis. It was not fun.”

Allura placed her hands on Lance’s shoulders. “So, you think he might be a vampire?”

Lance nodded.

“That’s fine, you know, right? There’s nothing wrong with dating a vampire.”

Lance choked on his Jamba juice.

“Dating? Who said anything about that? Didn’t you hear, the guy hates me!”

Allura cursed Lance’s low self-esteem to the depths of Acheron.

"What's his name?"

"Keith Kogane."

* * *

Allura’s best friend from school was a Takashi ‘Shiro’ Shirogane.

AKA the only man she would ever date.

(Shiro was a flaming homosexual too. That helped.)

Now, you see, it’s really funny how the world works.

Because Shiro was Keith (adoptive) older brother.

Small world, right?

Shiro had known Keith from a very young age, which enabled him to read Keith like a picture book written for four year olds.

Keith was also a very open book.

(Don’t let the bad boy image fool you; Keith couldn’t keep his emotions off his face if he tried.)

Shiro also recognised that Keith was a disaster gay. Like, the time with the garlic knot?

Shiro had to drive Keith to hospital.

It was _not _fun.

(Shiro cried.)

(He thought his baby bro was going to die, okay?)

(Leave him alone.)

Keith being a combination of a disaster gay and an open book with his emotions allowed Shiro to come to the conclusion:

Keith.

Had.

A.

Crush.

A flaming big one, by the looks of it.

Now, Shiro realised, that if he left Keith to simmer in his feelings (let’s face it, the boy’s a disaster, who knew if he actually knew he had a crush?), nothing would be accomplished.

Also, it would be fun to tease Keith about his crush.

So, with that train of thought having been thunk, Shiro threw a bag of Doritos onto Keith’s lap and plopped down beside him.

“So, buddy, you got any new feelings you want to talk about?”

Keith stared Shiro dead in the eye.

“Piss off, old man.”

Shiro took a deep breath and counted to three.

One.

Two.

Three.

There we go.

“I’m trying to help. I recognise your crush symptoms. It’s that guy you ate a garlic knot for, isn’t it?” He stated this as more of a statement rather than a question.

Keith stared down at the floor and nodded.

“So what’s stopping you? Is he straight? Is he an ass?”

Keith swallowed his Dorito.

“No and no. He’s…”

Shiro stared at Keith.

“He’s…”

Shiro stared at Keith some more.

“He’s covered head to toe in silver, okay? I have no idea why! And it’s the real stuff too! I swear to god he’s a vampire hunter! And his friends are onto me too! You don’t want me to be outed as a vampire, do you?”

Shiro stared at Keith some more.

Keith wallowed his sorrows in more Doritos.

Finally, Shiro spoke up.

“You do realise that’s okay, right? Not the being outed as a vampire thing- I’m sure his friends don’t think you’re a vampire. Vampire hunters don’t kill us anymore, you know? I’m sure the silver is a bit difficult, but I’m friends with Allura and I make it work, don’t I? Who is this guy, anyway?”

“Lance Alvarez-McClain.”

* * *

And here, my dudes, we have a rare occurence; two people, at the exact same time, saying the exact same time, in reference to people unknowingly connected.

"Oh, wait, I think I've heard of that guy!"

"He's Shiro's brother, right?"

"He's Allura's friend, right!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm from the UK- I have no idea if Jamba juice is a big deal, but it stuck with me, okay?


End file.
